My mom and I were in the car driving down the street to the airport. We were getting closer and closer to the airport; my heart was beating with anxiousness. It would be my first trip off the island without my parents. I've always loved going to sleepovers but this was different, I wouldn't be able to see them the next day. We drove up to the curb to drop me off. There I saw my friends and my church leaders, I was ready to go. My mom came out to help unload the car and say our goodbyes. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a hug before I left. It was going to be 3 days away from home, a bitter sweet experience.
We boarded the plan and off we went. I've never been to Kauai so I was excited to experience new things and new sites. On the plane I looked out the window to see our island getting smaller and smaller. The plane ride was only about half an hour to an hour. I wanted to get off that plane as soon as possible. Walking off I looked all around me observing the things about Kauai. We packed all our bags onto the truck to head to the camp site. As we unpacked our belongings, I found little notes from my mom in my socks. She told me how she misses me and that she hopes I have a great time. To my surprise, I wasn’t all that sad that I was away from home. Instead, I wanted to explore the new beaches and shops.
I was able to feel independent, something I haven't experienced all that much before. I didn't need my parents with me because I knew that I was going to be okay and I could handle this. The whole camping trip I didn't think about leaving, in fact I wanted to stay much longer. After this trip, I was able to do many things on my own. I didn’t rely much on my parents anymore. I could make my own decisions, go out on my own, and plan events by myself. I was becoming more mature day by day from something that only lasted a few days. It was during this trip, I discovered my coming of age.
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Hi Angela,
ReplyDeleteI thought your essay topic/subject was really well chosen. People would like to read this essay because it's relatable.
I love the fact that you said this was your first time you went to Kauai without your parents. Maybe you could throw in a few dialouges you had with your parents to make it seem more personal. Describe more of your feelings, as well as theirs.
When you were meeting with your leaders and friends, describe how you felt and your reaction. How did you feel seeing them, knowing you were going to travel to Kauai with them? Were you excited? Things like that.
Explain maybe the plane ride there, your feelings. Were you anxious? Nervous? Excited?
Try to emphasize more on your trip, where did you shop? Was there something there that reminded you of home and made you homesick? Did you feel slightly homesick at all? How did you feel as a visitor/tourist in Kauai?
Try to put more detail into your essay on your final.
Otherwise, I do like where you're going with this. Nice job!
-Janelle